Dear Diary 3 (Fairfax, VA)

Dear Diary 3

Dear Diary 8 7 2015 Today is another day of my journey through life. I ve been watching the people in the cities going about their daily activities. Everyone seems rather normal except for the glaring reality that the number of persons with physical disabilities seems larger. I still want to find a hospital where I can volunteer some time and help out in some way. I feel so isolated and lonely. I cry more these days. I miss the tenderness of my family their jokes and silly behavior. I miss my forever friend. I feel as if I m journeying through the world alone. However I also feel that many other people are affecting my life albeit on an external level. I don t speak with these persons I don t know them. It just seems as if they all know something about my situation. Although none have ever tried to discuss anything with me. My life certainly has its complexities. I imagine that the lives of everyone else are also complex. It s the same kind of feeling I get when I see a destitute or physically impaired person. I realize their lives are complex yet I have no idea how to help them fix their situations. That s exactly how I feel about all of my family members (and my forever friend) too. We each go through our days as if our lives are normal yet somehow something is amiss. I m not sure what I should do to alleviate the problems I am experiencing. I m not sure what other persons are doing to alleviate the problems they are experiencing. Somehow I believe that somewhere some people have come together to try to understand the complexities as a whole. I imagine this is the only way to find the best solution for each person at each different stage of the complexity. Also there s got to be a way to stop differing factions from fighting over what would be the optimal solution. Obviously there is no longer an optimal solution for anyone. It s a vicious cycle that must be stopped in its entirety. I ve certainly been aware of this cycle since October 2012. That s when my allergy symptoms became severe. That s when I realized that I might be losing my parents to this struggle. It s possible that I was born into this situation yet did not ever know that fact. Most of my life has been spent as a normal human being pretty basic without any awareness of other realms or supreme technologies that could affect a basic human being in his her entirety. Nobody taught me (nor anyone I know) how to understand this situation how to maneuver intelligently how to make things better for everyone. And nobody approached me with the fact that they may have the right or authority to interfere in my life and the lives of countless others at this level. As an American girl I was taught about the certain unalienable rights afforded to each of us. First and foremost our right to privacy which I expect includes all matters especially our physical person. I just don t understand why this continuous loop of doom keeps occurring. I don t understand why people can t make the suffering stop. Do they know that they get what they give Do they know that for each retaliatory act they extend they shall receive retaliation Do they know that there s got to be a better solution I d like to meet the persons who are thinking ahead of the curve who are living ahead of the problems and complexities who understand how to avoid chaos confusion and retaliation in their lives. Where are they What are their professions How did they find the fix and can they teach those of us who d like to learn We should be able to help each other and fix the world even if it s one person at a time. I still think it s as basic as you learned everything you need to know in kindergarten keep your hands and feet to yourself. Don t push judgments on others you don t know their reasons for certain decisions in their lives. And most likely since decisions are personal matters you won t understand their reasoning. To each their own is also a good mantra. Respect the differences of cultures communities individuals. Respect their privacy. I wouldn t wish my life s complexities on my worst enemy. I don t wish this for everyone everything in the future. I wish that everyone everything in the World would have the opportunity to live happy prosperous lives without fear of retaliation. I wish that everyone everything in the World would have the opportunity to fix their errors and improve their situations without encroaching on others privacy. The World needs a new cycle a positive loop which rewards instead of punishing and which excludes all retaliation and terror. The World needs tribunals at every realm which respect life in all its forms and give everyone everything multiple chances to make things right learning from their mistakes and making improvements for themselves which will in and of itself improve society as a whole. Life is precious everyone everything deserves multiple opportunities to make things right to fix their mistakes. Everyone everything should be afforded the opportunity to learn from their mistakes make amends move beyond them and achieve their goals (no matter how small or large). I m going to agree with something my Mother told me long ago. She said we must learn to understand our enemies and not hate them. That s about where I m at in my life now. I don t know who my enemies are nor do I know where they re from (we ve not met) however I know that I don t hate them and I would like to understand them. It is understanding which makes improvement possible.